


I've been wasting all this time (trying to keep you off my mind)

by theyoungv_eins



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Does this count as fluff??? Who knows, I don't know how to tag my work, M/M, Mentions of the affair era, Pining, Robert misses his boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungv_eins/pseuds/theyoungv_eins
Summary: It’s always hard for him whenever they’re apart, but Aaron has been away all weekend and it’s really taking its toll on him.--(Robert has always missed Aaron. Set in the present, but refers to the affair era)





	

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Give by You Me at Six! Go listen to it!   
> Oh boy do I love titles with parentheses!!!

Aaron is out on business, and Robert misses him. It’s always hard for him when they’re apart, but Aaron has been away all weekend and it’s really taking its toll on him. He’s okay with not seeing Aaron all day, just as long as he gets to come home to him. He can handle being away from Aaron for a bit, but they haven’t slept in the same bed for two days now and he misses him more than he has in a while.

He gets home from doing a little extra work at the scrapyard on Saturday, but instead of getting to curl up with his fiancé like he wants to, he’s left to sulk at the bar. Chas gives him a free pint because he’s “got a face like a slapped arse,” but he doesn’t even bother with a sarcastic comeback. All he gets after that is concerned looks and a quiet “You alright?” when he’s half way to the back room. (He’s fine, just a little tired, is all.)

He even lets Liv scam him out of twenty quid with no questions asked, because he just can’t be bothered trying to argue with her. On top of that twenty pounds, he buys her dinner on both days Aaron isn’t there for it, because making dinner for just the two of them just makes him miss the other man even more. Home cooked dinners just aren’t the same without him there. He ships her off to Gabby’s on the Friday so he can curl up alone in front of the TV and mope around in peace.

Needless to say, it’s hard for him to be alone for so long now that he’s used to always having Aaron’s company.

Even before, when their time was always limited and Robert was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t in love. He always missed him, even then.

Late at night, when Chrissie had long-since fallen asleep. The only thing he could think about was Aaron’s body, firm and warm next to him, and how he would give anything to sleep next to him for just one night.

At dinner, in front of a perfect meal with his perfect wife. Expensive plates, expensive cutlery, and expensive wine. Her foot nudging his leg under the table. All that, but all he could think about was a lazy night in, complete with a curry and a few beers. Made even better by the scratch of a bearded jaw against his face, a heavy weight on top of him as they make out in front of the TV.

When he was at the pub, watching Aaron from the other side of the bar. Watching him joke around with Adam, watching him sneak himself a pint. Watching him completely avoid so much as even _looking_ at Robert. He missed him when he was right there in front of him, because he wasn’t – and, as he thought at the time, probably never would be – his. Because Robert was married. Because he had killed someone, continuously lied, and purposefully made Aaron feel like shit because he loved him and he was too scared to admit it. _Couldn’t_ admit it, because that would mean he would lose his wife and his expensive lifestyle. Everything he had spent so long working for would be lost, all because he couldn’t stay away, couldn’t keep himself from straying too far from home.

When Chrissie leant across the kitchen counter to kiss him, soft and lovely, but not enough. He had liked kissing Chrissie, because he still loved her and she was gentle, but it just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t hands gripping the sleeves of his jacket. Fingers, rough from working, around the back of his neck and in his hair. It wasn’t rough and messy – a little too much teeth and tongue, his nose squashed up against someone else’s cheek. The sweet burn of a beard against his jaw and his fingertips. It wasn’t _Aaron_ , and that was the problem.

At the time, if anyone told Robert that he missed Aaron, he would’ve denied it over and over again until his throat was raw with the proclamation. He didn’t miss him, because he didn’t love him. Didn’t want anything to do with him. Didn’t want to accept the fact that he was too far gone, because he had Chrissie and everything he ever could’ve wanted.

The problem was that he didn’t know _what_ he wanted. Not until everyone else knew. He only figured it out when he stopped fighting for his failed marriage and the fortune that came with it, and started fighting for something he now knows is worth a million times that.

It was hard, of course. Watching everything he thought he wanted slipping from his greedy fingers was hard. Being out of the closet was hard at first, especially when he had tried to supress it for so long. It was hardest when Aaron was hurting and he knew there was nothing he could do to make it better, no matter how much he wanted to. It was hard, but easy because it was everything he wanted, and since when did Robert Sugden ever back down from something he wanted?

Missing Aaron back then was nothing like missing him now, because now that Aaron is his, he misses him even more.

Now that he gets to sleep next to Aaron every night, and wake up next to him every morning – in a bed that is _theirs_. Now that they can always eat dinner together – share a curry and a six-pack whenever they want. He gets to share a look with Aaron from across the pub without constantly worrying about how obvious they’re both being, because he doesn’t _care_. He can kiss and be kissed by him whenever he wants; has the luxury of his mouth and hands on him. He misses him more now because his ring is on Aaron’s finger, smudged from all the time his fiancé spends fidgeting with it. Because he’s getting married because he’s in love, and he’s loved in return, and money plays no part in it.

He misses him even more because now he knows exactly what he’s missing.

He misses Aaron because he’s biting sarcasm and rough hands, but at the same time soft touches and kisses, sweet words if Robert is lucky enough. He’s blue eyes, challenging him and flirting with him at the same time. Small smiles from under calm eyes. He’s the content little sigh that Robert gets to hear late at night, when they’re both tired from the day and are just happy to spend some quiet time alone together.

He’s the little things that Robert would _hate_ if it were anyone else – he’s ketchup-drowned scrambled eggs for breakfast and he’s left-over milk drunk straight from the bowl. He’s the chewing of fingernails, even when he’s washed them but they’re still a little dirty from working. Dirty clothes on the floor, left for him to deal with some other time, but eventually forgotten about.

He loves Aaron more than he can handle sometimes. Even with his weird breakfast choices and bad habits, because it’s _him_ and he’s everything.

He only stops missing Aaron when he’s sneaking into their room at six in the morning on Sunday – a lot earlier than he had planned. He stops missing him when Aaron is stripping himself of his clothes and climbing into bed behind Robert, pressing their bodies together and his face into the back of his neck.

He realises that Aaron missed him just as much when there’s a strong arm around his waist, a knee pushed between his thighs, and a kiss pressed to the back of his neck. He can tell by the kiss he gets when he turns over to face him. By the fact that Aaron got up at the arsecrack of dawn, just so he could arrive back in Emmerdale in time for Robert to wake up with him there.

Neither of them needs to say the words, because they both know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, wowie! I love you!   
> I'm on Tumblr at aarondingl-e B)


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